“In their anti-rational propaganda the enemies of freedom
pervert the resources of language in order to wheedle or stampede their
into thinking, feeling and acting as they, the mind-manipulators, want
to think, feel and act. An education for freedom (and for the love and
which are at once the conditions and the results of freedom) must be,
other things, an education in the proper uses of language.”
- "We're health food"
- "Big beer-who", or "Big beer who?"
"Booze who?", "Booze is who?" and the ever-popular, "Boo-who's?"
you can always repeal the 21st
- "Voi-seee" (the French word for 'here is' is voici)
- "You (fill in the blank)ed yourself"
- "Hi!" (often mis-underinterpreted as the Japanese word for 'hello')
- "Shhhhhh...." (be werry, werry quiet about the US debt clock or a
- "You won't share your (fill in the blank)"
- "Piece", or the homonym (hey, I'm not prejudiced) "Peace"
- "(some vague mumblings, you think maybe you can make out a word or
- "Don't you (alternately 'didn't you') like (fill in the blank)"
- "What's (fill in the blank)?"
- "Ir's your fear"
- "You use it..."
- "These are taxes..."
- "It's a great conspiracy" (A 'great' conspiracy? Is that like
wayyy better than a regular conspiracy?) - got news for ya chum, there are
conspiracies out there. Same as there were 4000 years ago.
People want power, control and money.
- "It's a test..." WE want
you to protect the Constitution.
That's why WE violate it!! Get it? (gosh darn, I never saw
that one coming...)
- "It worked!"
- A Pavlov's Monkey claps its hands once. It means something.
-- H.L. Mencken was more to the point, as usual,
when he wrote that the purpose of schools is:
to manufacture an endless corps of sound Americans. A sound American is
one who has put out of his mind all doubts and questionings, and who
instantly, and as incontrovertible gospel, the whole body of official
of his day, whatever it may be and no matter how often it may change.
and as the Lone Ranger said to Tonto...
"Indians all around us! What are we going to do Tonto??"
and Tonto with a grin on his face replied...
"What you mean WE, kimosabe?"
Charles Darwin said
it's about "Survival Of The Fittest"
I believe it's more about, "Survival Of The Faddest" ;-)
from the album Greatest_Hits_of_the_National_Lampoon
(c) 1972 Visa Records
performed by Norman Rose
written by Tony Hendra
music by Christopher Guest
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss... and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right... but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all erridity and disallusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
there is always a big future in computer maintainance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
especially with those persons closest to you...
that lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love, therefore; it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth,
birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
that your dog is finally getting enough cheese,
and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here,
and weather you can hear it or not,
the Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god,
whatever you conceive him to be:
hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
the world continues to deteriorate.
Don't worry, it's all just part of the "Mzzz
(courtesy of the Firesign Theatre