“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute
it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away,
and a sunny spirit takes their place.”
~ Mark Twain

Favorite Comedy

FSt Radio Theater
The Firesign Theatre - The site of 4 of the funniest men on the planet ever to make radio theater (be sure to wear your inflatable shoes...)

Click here for the Wikipedia entry on The Firesign Theatre - very informative

Also visit the web site of the Chromium Switch - The Original Firesign Theatre Newsletter

Watch the XM Radio Series - nothing like seeing the Firesign Theatre in action :-)

Britney Spears' bloated body?  How many monitor lizards would it take to eat her?
BritneyLizardEveryone knows, Baby's On Fire (the band 801)
Hey, just having fun - a bozo nose and inflatable shoes for ms Britney.  She has enough problems without people poking fun at her (but good Grid, it's just so easy).  Everybody knows, "If Dirt Were Dollars", we wouldn't worry anymore... ;=))  Well, please tell her "Don't Shed A Tear For Me", just because she drives nicer cars :)
Sexpot Virgins: The Media's Sexualization of Young Girls - Professor M. Gigi Durham discusses the corporate media's sexual objectification of girls and how to help young women fight regressive media messages
Well, Celine Dion says, "That's The Way It Is"

Monitor Lizards (5:34) -You, yes You, the one with the computer,  are sitting in Peter Bergman's seat watching the show:-)
High bandwidth video 150k stream (or 6.0meg download)
Low bandwidth video 30k stream (or 1.4meg download)

And Dear Friends, don't forget to watch the Reverend Bill Barnstormer as he intoduces his friend The Reverend Hensley, Don't want to miss this one.  Bring the kids...

Papoon For President Papoon For President - "One Organism, One Vote!" - Whatever you do, be sure to cast away your vote at the upcoming Surrealist Party convention , February 29th.  He's not insane, and not responsible.

His platform:
    - 6 inches off the ground so no one falls off...
    - the Guaranteed Annual Year
    - One organism, one vote !
    - One man, one channel !

Reverend & Devil
Firesign Theatre's Reverend Barnstormer from the First Reformed Church of Science Fiction welcomes The Reverend Hensley to discuss the evils of masturbation

Some Favorite Firesign Clips

   Give Up This Day -  The classic sermon from the Rear Reverend Trendlebear
   C'mon Jesus -  Red Greenback and the Blue Boys play their country classic hit
   Mz. Information -  The Mz. Information talk show theme
   Mutt & Smutt - The store where 'everything you need is wrong!'
   Kamikaze Recall-  Look out for those plastic brakes with the look of real metal
   The National Toilet-  "Give us a minute and we'll wipe the World for you..."
   Eat or Be Eaten-  The hot new release from White Brains On Toast
   Alien Invasion Training Film -  "Two flying saucers have just landed on my plate..."
   Firesign Thanksgiving -  NPR refused to play it, because it was too difficult to understand.  You be the judge
   Shoplifter's Market  -  "I walked away with over 130 dollars worth of hams in my pants, and it only cost me 50 bucks and 60 days..."
   The Chinchilla Show- You too can make money raising these wonderful little animals.  Oh oh, look that one's getting away!
    Papoon For President - Judging from the current field of candidates, he may be our best hope in the next election...
    Night Whispers! - piercing the conspiratorial darkness
    The Elevator Boy, he is in your family?  No? Yes...

Firesign Beer Commercials
 Bear Whiz Beer-  "It's in the water!  That's why it's yellow!"
   Polar Pro -  "I've been drinkin' this beer for pretty near a hundred yearin..."

Firesign Member Sites
Planet Proctor-  From The Spaced Out Mind Of Phil Proctor.  He has a newsletter.  American needs "A Few Good Laughs".  Yes, President Papoon Wants You!
   Phil Austin-  Do the names Alfred Hitchcock or Nick Danger mean anything to you?  Niiice birdies....
   David Ossman-  Creator of the character Tweeny on his "How Time Flys" album - don't miss his Rev. Barnstormer bits
   Peter Bergman-  Radio Free Oz is back! Not the Millennium the Millennials Expected
                                                                    With your hosts, Peter Bergman and David Ossman

'Firehead' (fan) Web Sites

   The Firesign Chat-  Follow the rubber line to your seat (and rubber walls to match) - every Thursday night at 9pm EST.  The chat is HTML based so you don't need an IRC client.  It's just a regular web page that does chat.
   Bambi & Jimmy Lee-  Hosts of the Firesign Chat and The Jimmy Lee and Bambi Show on CNI Radio every Saturday from 5-8pm EST - excellent tech news and a fun chat (Bozo's welcome... :-)
   Doc Technical-  The Doctor is In...  sound technician for the Firesign Theatre albums
   Ken DeBusk- Otherwise known as "Doctor Headphones" in the Firesign Chat
   Cat Ishakawa-  Playwright and bain of anyone who dares to call themself a chef
   Elayne  -  Pen-Elayne on the web

Other Favorite Comedy/Comedians

RIP George Carlin
    The Cunning Linguist: Remembering George Carlin's literary genius
    George Carlin, American Radical - No one, not Obama, not Hillary Clinton and certainly not John McCain, caught the zeitgeist of the vanishing American dream so well as Carlin.

Monty Python's Flying Circus - "You Are All Individuals!"... "Yes!!  We Are All Individials!!"
    - "The Little Wrascall Has Spirit!!"  "Yes he did, sir..." - from The Life Of Brian
    - "I feel I could do much better with a government grant..." - from the Silly Walks skit

Hicks HeroRIP Bill Hicks

Dice Jacket Andrew Dice Clay - some say that I've lost a few years of my life.  Hey, all I did was buy a suit!  It was 40 Too Long ;)

Steven Wright
Steven Wright - His deadpan humor will have you rolling on the floor with laughter

Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie - Canadian humor, eh?
    "An Opinion On Abortion" - You'll never look at the controversy about abortion the same way ;) - "Me and my wife are simple folkk..." lol

Paul Krassner  -  Listen to his"In the Guise Of Security" rant about America drifting toward a police state...
    Fear your ears, little mice... the_ah dolts_are in charge

John Kelso - humorous commentary from Austin, Texas
    A guy can't drink enough to prepare himself for "Sex in the City"

Tiny Tim - if for no other reason than his song "Tip-Toe Through The Tulips'

The Marx Brothers-  "Hail Freedonia!"

W.C. Fields- "Any man who hates children and pets can't be all bad..."
    Listen to his"Temperance Lecture"

Abbott & Costello -  here's their classic"Who's On First"bit

The Frantics  -  here's their bit about a karate class gone haywire, called"Boot To The Head"

Electric Funstuff - as we all know from the scripture of Wozniak,"The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth";-)

The Friar's Roasts - Milton Berle and friends roast celeberties - Here is acompilation of 3 of their bits, starting with Arrrrrrnold and moving on to the NFL

Harry Shearer  -  Check out his weekly broadcast of LeShow

Denis Leary - the kids should know that "Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up"
    Are you an environmentalist or an advocate for animal rights?  Well, "Save This..."

Harland Williams  -  He's "Har-Larious"Are You An Illegal Alien?

Jeff Foxworthy - "Here's Your Day..."

Pogo- The classic comic strip - "We have met the enemy...  and They is Us!!"

Doonesbury - Political humor with a twist

Mark Fiore  - Flash animated political cartoons

Weird Al Yankovic - Not only are his parodies of popular tunes amazing, but his musical production is on par with the best you'll hear in the Top 10.
    As a big fan of a certain unline auction site, I really enjoy Weird Al's parody called "eBay"

Richard Pryor  -  RIP - His humor was healing to a divided society
    Watch his classic skit with Chevy Chase The Job Interview

Chris Rarley - RIP - a very talented comedian who left us way too soon
    Watch his interview withPaul McCartney

Robin Williams -  Can you say "Nanu, nanu...?"  Get help ;-)
         We all sometimes think about death, but it might not be the Grim Reaper...  It might be"The Grim Rapper"
   Bush 2.0-  This one definitely needs more beta testing ;-
    Be sure to watch the movie"Good Morning Viet Nam".  Williams plays a rather unorthodox DJ for Armed Forces Radio during the Viet Nam War.  Very funny (in a darkly ironic sort of way) and often serious, as the subject should be treated.. The gay bar owner keeps asking for naked pictures of Walter Brennan ("No brag, just fact..." ;-)

Saturday Night Live - need one say more?
    Chris Farley is a "Motivatioal Speaker"
    and for los niños, a "Spanish Motivational Speaker"

Celebrity Jepoardy
If you've ever been a fan of the TV game show Jeopardy, you're going to want to see these wonderful send-ups


Roneanna Roseanna Danna Gilda Radner - RIP a wonderful talent who died way before her time.  One of the people who made the early Saturday Night Live extrordinarily funny.  We'ans, political officers and various other a-holes have you in a fit?  Then listen to her"Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals" (definitely _not_ a children's song ;-)

Favorite Faux-News

The Onion  Headlines

- McDonnell-Douglas Unveils New 'Gay-Dar'
- New Titanic Film Told From Iceburg's Point Of View
- Bush Makes Surprise Visit To Work

Onion Video News

ronic Times Headlines

The greatest achievement of the Bush presidency is:
A )    rescuing the Democratic party
B )    driving the last nail into the coffin of Reaganomics
C )    driving the last nail into the coffin of neoconservative foreign policy
D )    not arranging a military coup to overturn the 2008 election
Hint: of course our robust free press would never have put up with a military coup, unless their jobs were at stake.
Bush Heading Back to Texas - Cheney returns to Mordor.
CORRECTION - Last week we reported that the upscale community to which the President will move once he's out of office is "whites only." In fact, the law was changed in 2000 to remove that restriction. Our apologies for any confusion.
Chilean Cardinal Says Madonna Causes Impure Thoughts - For him anyway
Bush Aims to Weaken Laws in Final Months of Administration - Particularly those relating to war crimes
Government: Adults Should Get 21⁄2 Hours of Exercise Per Week - Might as well, they’re not working
U.S. Economy Meltdown Triggers Worldwide Depression - Six billion people encouraged to go shopping 
Paulson Optimistic Economy Will Turn Around
- Cites encouraging e-mail from Nigeria
U.S. Will Shift to Training Mission - As the new time horizon for U.S. troop withdrawals approaches, so does the transition from combat to training. Here’s a preview of what top U.S. officers will be training the Iraqi army to do:
          Set up military-industrial complex.
          Take over budget of civilian government.
          Subcontract to private companies beyond reach of law.
          Get hired by those companies at higher pay.
          Find comfy post-military career in lobbyingBush, Mukasey Invoke Separation of Powers in Rejecting Congressional Subpoenas in Valerie Plame Case - Specifically, separation of Congress from power.
    Congressman Wants All American Flags Made in America - By undocumented seamstresses
    Army Will Send More High Tech Weapons to Iraq, Afghanistan - Robots observed fleeing to Canada
    Bush: “Significant Progress” on Climate Change - Administration now acknowledges there's a climate.
    Report: Biofuels Have Raised Global Food Prices by 75% - Suggests we look for ways to convert biofuels to food.
    Human Rights Concerns Won’t Keep Bush From Olympics Opening - China ignores violations, grants him visa.
    Chrysler to Offer Internet Access in '09 Models - Automatically uploads video of your gruesome accident to YouTube.
    Audit: Justice Dept. Hired on Ideological Basis - If you believed in justice, you weren't hired.
Theory: Mirrors on Moon Could Send Signal to Distant Civilizations - To let them know we're six billion ignorant schmucks about to destroy ourselves.
   Study: Mobile Phones More Dangerous Than Smoking or Inhaling Asbestos - But not as dangerous as smoking asbestos.
   Bush: We're Not in Recession - Cites strong yacht sales.
   Congress Wrestles With Constitutional Crisis in Public Showdown - Did Roger Clemens use steroids?
   Bush Awards Posthumous Presidential Medal of Freedom to Torquemada
   Death of 108-Year-Old Man Leaves Only One Living Veteran of World War I - He's currently serving in Iraq.
   Americans Breech Section of Wall Between U.S., Canada - Thousands pour across border, buy prescription drugs.
   Study: Administration Made 14 Truthful Statements in Buildup to War - And 935 false ones.
   Bush Proposes Economic Stimulus Package - Money will help people pay for car they're living in.
   IRONIC TIMES PERSON OF THE YEAR:  God- No one else had as profound an effect on American politics in 2007, except perhaps the Devil. He influenced the actions of every candidate for president and continues to guide our foreign policy, speaking to President Bush on a regular basis.
   Study: Humans Evolved 100 Times Faster After Introduction of Agriculture 40,000 Years Ago - Then stopped after introduction of TV.
   Bush Pledges Long-Term Military, Political Commitment to Iraq - Under powers granted him by Right of Kings article in U.S. Constitution.
   Dogs Learning to Use Touch-Screen Computers- Promises cheap alternative to outsourcing.
   Europe Faces New Wave of Illegal Immigration- Undocumented Americans taking jobs Europeans won't do, sending euros back to families in U.S.
   Oil Approaches $100 a Barrel - White House blames Jimmy Carter.
   Study: 1 Out of 4 Homeless Are Veterans - And we really appreciate their service.
   Pakistan: Musharraf Cracks Down - Even considers suspending habeas corpus, conducting warrantless wiretaps, torture.
   Constitution Temporarily Suspended for Cleaning
   Fox News Links California Fires to Al Qaeda - Then backs off, placing blame on Iran.
   Bush: Iran Getting Bomb Could Lead to World War III - Might have to start it to prevent it.
   Cuba: Boatload of Americans Detained After Treacherous Voyage From Florida -Tell authorities they were seeking better health care.
   More Tech Help Being Outsourced to Caribbean- Expect to hear “It's your router that's at fault, mon” when you call.
   NEW PRODUCTS - Human In-Country Customer Service Rolled Out!
It's still in beta, but you can now call a limited number of companies and speak to a human representative who will answer your questions in clear, easy to understand English. You can still request to talk to a computer or someone in New Delhi, but most "first adopters" will want to at least sample this innovative way of dealing with the public. Free, where available.
   Ann Coulter Booed Off Stage for Offensive Comments - Forced to cut short speech to American Nazi Party

A wonderful collection of bizzare stories from actual news sources.  Updtaed weekly,


This Modern World -
    The Bush Years: A Look Back:
    Iraq: A Brief Parable
    The Latest Stupid Campaign Season Distraction
    Not Sure About Obama
    Mocking Obama's Rhetoric
    The Rise and (Relative) Fall of Stupidity in America
Farewell, my lovely economy
    McCain Mania
    The Ongoing Adventures of Sparkman and the Blinkster
The Republican good news fairy is here to assuage your doubts
   Vote for Ugg in '08! He smash enemies with big rocks!
   Very Serious Pundits Discuss The Issues
   2008 Year In Review - Part 2
   2008 Year In Review - Part 1
   The Trouble With Hillary
   The Iranians' top-secret Time Travel Program!
   Oh, For Those Happy, Carefree Days
   What If the Democrats Win In 2008?
   Conervative Jones-Boy Detective: Multiple Mystery Mahem
   Halloween Party
   it's time to check in on Parallel Earth
   The Quest For Common Ground
   A Few Things We've Been Thinking About Lately
   In 1969, a group of radicals hatched a secret plan...
   Enduring Relationship
   Alan Greenspan Book Signing

Doonesbury -
   Just a Bunch Of Lobbyists
Rudy Park -
    Sorry We Tortured You

Opus -
    In the animal shelter with memories, real and imagined
O wise and muscled one, I deserve better than this stinky dump for eternity!
    Achieving the rare and final stage of oil grief
   Pathetic Edible Earthlings: Surrender Now!
    Airline Surcharges

Tom The Dancing Bug -
    Today's USA is the USSR of the 1980s
    I Wanted To Vote For Hillary.... Now What?
    The Simplicity of the Free Market
   Hip Black Guy vs. Cranky Old White Guy
   L'il George in "Bee Around The Bush"

Ted Rall -
    The Consumer's To Blame
    Change We Need
    2nd Least Popular Person On Earth Gets A Room Mate
    Economic Meltdown Hits Gitmo
    The Future Of Ideas
    Obama's First Day In Office
    McCain Changes His Mind About Torture
    Obama's Domestic Spying
   What Bush's Torture Memos Can Do For You
   Mitt Romney's Solution To The Immigration Problem
   For Auction: The Magna Carta
   You Killed My Kid
   Leftie vs Conservative
   Republicans Force Democrats to Eat Poo
   Chris Dodd

Tom Toles -
    The Wilderness

Tom The Dancing Bug -
    Today's USA is the USSR of the 1980s
    Judge Scalia's Constitution Comics (not at all funny, really)
    Chrysler's $2.99 Gas Guarantee

Pat Oliphant -
    Bernake Reads To Kids

Tony Auth -
Ben Sargent -
    The White House Attic
    The Credit Crunch

Glenn McCoy -

Jeff Danziger -

Slowpoke -
    Mental States of the Meltdown
    What's In The Beehive?
    Great Moments In Equality
    Briefly, John McCain Becomes An Actual Maverick
    Tie-In Takeover
    McCain On Birth Control
    Judge Scalia dn the 2ns Ammendment
   The Future's So Bright, I Gotta wear Shades
   Sitting On Their Asses
   America: Back Office to the World!

Mike Keefe -
    Community Organizers
    The Palin Bounce
    War On Terror Update
   Straight Talk Express
   A Little Fun With The Bill Of Rights
   Mr. Bush's Pet Project
   Vote Gambling

Mark Fiore Animations (Flash required) -
    What If...
    Courting Disaster
   Lord Petro
   The Spies Who Love You
   That Darned Dictator

Funny Stories Video Clips & Bits

Dedicated Radio Show Host [VIDEO] - the show must go on...
INSTANT ORIGAMI [VIDEO] - With patience and diligence, you too may master the art of Origami
Not sure about the meaning of what some folks are saying these days?  Take an "Ebonics Language Lesson"
Could you pass Chevy Chase's Word Association Test at his job interview with Richard Pryor [VIDEO]?


President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his pathetic poll standings.

His image handler made a visit to the Bishop and said, 'We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, hurricane Katrina, and the Veterans Administration. We'll make a $100,000 contribution to your church if during your sermon you will say that the President is a Saint.'

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, 'The Church is desperate for funding, I'll do it.'

Bush showed up for the sermon, and the Bishop began:

I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President who is a liar, a cheat, and a
low-intelligence numb-nuts who can't put a compound sentence together.

He bugged out of combat service during the Vietnam war and went AWOL to avoid a drug test, then had all reports on the sordid event destroyed.

He is the spawn of a Nazi loving great grandfather who smuggled anti-Americans into this country on his shipping line.

He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people.

He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated country on earth. It is a three-trillion dollar folly.

He appointed fund-raiser cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction due to government paralysis after Hurricane Katrina.

He awarded no-bid cost-plus contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country and a greater gap between rich and poor than we've had since the Depression.

He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome.

The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 trillion Dollars.

Oil rose from $18 to over a hundred per barrel, leading to transportation costs which the people of America cannot afford, with low minimum wages, part time jobs, no health insurance, and outsourcing.

Vital research into global warming and stem cells is stifled because he's afraid to lose votes from religious kooks.

He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known, but compared to Dick Cheney...

...George W. Bush is a Saint.

Zen Rules for Life

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

15. If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

16. Don't squat with your spurs on.

17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

25. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
 'I've outlived the bitches.' 


       When Ft. Lauderdale resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, the burglars ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even his Rolex watch.  What they did take, however, was described in the police report as “a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder.”
        A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that the contents of the box “looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time.” 
        A few days later, Radlich stood in front of the numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude.  She died three years ago.”
        The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Radlich’s doorstep.  The cardboard box was there, too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.  Scotch taped to the box was a note that said: “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie.  Sorry we snorted your sister.  No hard feelings.  Have a nice day.”


 The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won..

 The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
That he entered it in a Race
Again, and it won again.

 The local paper read:


 The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
Publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another

The next day, the local paper headline read:


This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the donkey.

 The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

 The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
The following headline the next day:


The bishop fainted.he informed the nun that she would have to get rid of
the donkey.
So she sold it to a farmer for $10.

 The next day the paper read:


 This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild..

The next day the headlines read:


 The bishop was buried the next day.

 The moral of the story is . .. Being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery .even shorten your life.

 So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
You'll be a lot happier and probably Live longer!

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